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The Clones of Bruce Lee

(1977)

Bruce Lee dies, so this scientist makes three clones of him (you can tell he's a kick-ass scientist because he has a computer with blue, green, yellow and red lights on it, plus two hot Asian nurses as assistants). You would think this means that now they can make three times as many Bruce Lee movies as before, but that's not what happens. Instead, they send one of the Bruce Lees to stop this crook from smuggling gold. The Bruce Lee pretends to be an actor (pretty clever), but the smuggler figures it out in like two seconds and sends a couple dorks to kick his ass. There's no way they can stand up to Bruce Lee, though, so he defeats them, breaks into the smuggler's house, and stops him.

Meanwhile, the other two Bruce Lees get sent to kill this guy who wants to take over the world with defoliant. But first one of the Bruce Lees goes to the beach, and we get to see a whole bunch of totally naked chicks run around, dance, and rub lotion on their tits for a while. Then when this Bruce Lee goes back to his hotel there's a super-hot naked chick waiting for him in his bed; tough luck for him it turns out to be a trap, and the other Bruce Lee has to karate-chop this chick in the throat.

The two Bruce Lees and some other cat raid the bad guy's place and whup about a hundred karate guys, but the main bad guy escapes. They catch one of his scientists, call him an "animal", then get him to tell them where the boss went by pouring acid on his face. The Bruce Lees roll over to the new hideout, but they get attacked by these half-naked dudes the bad guy turned to bronze and have to run away. I'll buy the fact that people turned to bronze can still use kung fu, but I don't see why they couldn't put on some pants. It was disturbing. Anyway, one of the bronze guys chases the Bruce Lees, but he gets pushed into some poisoned plants and decides to, what the hell, eat them, so he dies. This gives the Bruce Lees an idea so they take a bunch of the poison plants back to the fight and when they give them to the bronze guys they gobble them up and croak. I guess their brains were turned to bronze too, fucking dipshits. The Bruce Lees catch the main bad guy and head for home.

It seems like everything worked out okay, but the scientist who made the clones is all pissed off so he decides to make all three Bruce Lees fight to the death. Too bad for him that his hot assistants free the Bruce Lees from his control and they go after him. He manages to blast Bruce Lee #3 with lasers but #2 kicks through a wall to get to him and when he tries to run away he gets captured. The end.

I don't know much about kung fu so I don't know if this movie was realistic or whatever, but it had enough crazy shit and tits for me to give it a definite thumbs up.


 

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