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The Colony

(1995)

Jack Tripper and his family* move into one of those snooty subdivisions where they have tons of anal-retentive rules and shit- like not being able to paint your house purple, or leave old cars on the front lawn, or have an illegal still out back or anything. You know, the type of neighborhood where white people like to live. Of course there's something evil going on, but that pretty much goes without saying so it's not like it's a big surprise or anything when bad shit starts going down. Barney Miller is the guy in charge of the place, and the funniest part is when he shows Jack this huge sculpture or whatever with spikes on the top that you know someone's going to end up impaled on the second you see it. Barney Miller ends up getting riddled with bullets and Herb from WKRP eats one too, but there's not even enough blood in this movie to upset your grandma and frankly seeing a show with Jack Tripper where he's not surrounded by lots of bouncing boobs makes me feel kind of empty inside. In other words, this movie's pretty weak.

*His wife's no Janet, but she's pretty hot. Nice work, Jack.