Video Picks for Perverts
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(1999?)
I got no problem with people who want to make up their own religion - it worked out great for that Battlefield Earth guy - but if you're gonna go that route then you really need to keep it simple and make it at least a little interesting. There's already tons of confusing, boring religions out there, which is why most people don't care if they get too loaded Saturday night to make it to church on Sunday.* Take this cat, for example: he calls himself "Master Teacher", which is pretty funny I suppose, but his religion is too damn complicated. One hundred twenty-one lessons? I have a hard enough time remembering the Commandments, and there's only 12 of those. Also, if you're going to start a religion, you should probably try not to look like someone who's just jonesing (ha!) to poison the Kool-Aid. Seriously, check this guy out:
He's the type of person that small children and animals automatically know is completely out of their gourd, and he really drives it fucking home it by spending the entire tape saying shit like this: "The idea that training of forgiveness is particular to you because you believe that having trained your mind to define yourself, you can emotionally arrive at conclusions of forgiveness; and while that is true, they will always be based on the defense of your inherent conflict in your conceptual mind." What? I don't care what order you rearrange those words in, that doesn't make any sense. Even worse, he's all condescending too, like just because you don't speak crazy you're totally beneath him. What an asshole. If forgiving him is the key to happiness, I'll just stay pissed off, thanks. *As usual, the sneaky-ass Jews figured out a way around this. They go to church on Saturday, so they can get smashed later and sleep 'til 4 PM on Sunday if they want to. Their Christmas is eight days long, their chicks are hotter... They've covered all the angles.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
