Crazy Eights

(2007)

This dude's dying wish is for his friends to open some box hidden in an old building out in the middle of nowhere, and when they do they find a fucking body in it. Well played, cock. Later they all end up trapped in a mad scientist's abandoned orphanage or something and a ghost starts wasting the lot of them. It turns out the ghost is a little girl they all killed by mistake and subsequently forgot about (ruthless), so after a few of them die the rest decide that the solution is for everybody to just pretend it didn't happen, because apparently that worked so well before. Oh, and for some reason they have to set a slingshot on fire, and I think find some magic beans or something. Frankly it's a stupid plan and when it doesn't fly (duh) they all end up dead (spoiler warning). On the plus side it is pretty damn creepy, and Traci Lords is in it which is always awesome, even though I personally prefer her movies that are illegal to own in this country. Irregardless, she still looks fine as hell and it was almost impossible to pay attention to anything besides her ass. I love your ass, Traci, and I'm totally willing to show my appreciation with my face. Have your people call my people.

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