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Critters 4

(1991)

For some reason, after they make a few sequels to a horror movie they always have to make one that happens in space, and that always turns out to be the stupidest one of all. I think they thought they could get away with it this time because the Critters originally came from space and they were thinking no one would notice, but you have to get up pretty early in the afternoon to fool Mr. Satanism and that excuse isn't gonna cut it. Anyway, the Critters end up on a spaceship and fight that retarded guy they fight in every movie, three jerkoffs, an ugly black chick, and a kid. You know, I can't think of a single movie that happens in space and has a kid in it that doesn't suck ass. There's probably one I'm forgetting, but I still think there needs to be a new rule: if a movie happens in space, no kids. Unless they're going to get killed in a seriously awesome way. Sixteen-year-old girls who wear really skimpy outfits or get naked because the movie was made in a country less uptight than the U.S. would be like an exception to this rule. I also think they need to sell Critter hand puppets at Spencer's or someplace. That'd be sweet.