Home

Dark Age

(1987)

This movie starts out just like any other killer crocodile movie: a giant crocodile turns up and eats a couple dudes, then it chomps on this little kid and gobbles him up in broad daylight, which was awesome. They send this one guy after the crocodile, but he can't find it. This aborigine cat knows where the crocodile is, but he won't tell because he doesn't want them to kill it because of mythology or something. Finally they make this deal with the aborigine and promise to just catch the crocodile and not kill it, but they don't get to it in time and it bites this one moron's arm off. It turns out getting your arm bit off by a giant man-eating crocodile isn't really that big a deal though, because that dude is out of the hospital like a few hours later. He's pretty irritated, though, so he goes after the guys who have the crocodile now. I guess whoever wrote this movie was pretty high by the time he got to this part, because here's what happens next: They put the giant crocodile on a flatbed truck and have a car chase with it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  It's like the stupidest thing you've ever seen. The parts where the croc snacks on people are bloody enough, and we get to see the one cute chick's small but serviceable tits, but that Smokey and the Bandit 4 shit just doesn't fly. Seriously, lay off the reefer, dude.