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Dark Ride

(2006)

"All I ever read about is how doomed our generation is, okay, how we do nothing and have it so easy. So let's do something."

Wow, that's some pretty heavy shit, except for two things. One, it's said by the fat kid from The Sandlot, and two, the thing they decide to do is break into a funhouse. Way to change the world, Generation Fuckstick. And we've got a real crew of winners here, too: there's the Sandlot kid, Meadow Soprano, a blonde who needs to shave her pits, Vanilla Ice's autistic brother, one relatively normal guy, and a crazy-ass hippie they picked up along the way (at least she's kinda hot). Meanwhile two weeks ago this psycho who's in the booby hatch for murdering people at the very same funhouse (amazing) gets pissed off because a couple of orderlies are teasing him with a piece of meat (who hires these people?), so he impales one of them with a flashlight (duh), eats the other one, and escapes. Naturally he makes a beeline for the funhouse and you can pretty much figure out the rest. The end is put together so bad I couldn't figure out who was where or what the fuck was supposed to be going on, but at least people are getting killed, it's pretty damn gory, and the hippie shows us her tits. If Meadow would've hung hers out for inspection too it probably would've bumped this up to an A, but as is I'll give it a C+.