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The Day Time Ended

(1979)

This family comes home one day to find their solar-powered hippie house trashed ("It looks like some bikers did it!"). They try to blow it off, but some seriously heavy shit starts going down: a Land of the Lost pylon shows up in the backyard, the little girl's new pony appears and disappears, UFOs fly over the house, broken mirrors fix themselves.... "What the hell goes on?" says the grandpa. Then it gets even weirder: that night the little girl sees someone sneaking a smoke in her closet and it turns out it's an elf! The elf does a queer little dance for everybody, which is freaky enough, but when they try to escape their car starts by itself, more UFOs show up, and they get attacked by the Micronauts! You would think that that would be plenty for one movie, but then some monsters show up and fight, and they have to distract the winner from trying to eat them by letting one of their horses loose for it to chase. (They should've distracted it by feeding it the pony: "Waaaaa!  My pony!" That would've been hilarious.) Later it looks like Moonbase Alpha is having a yard sale when a bunch of broken-down sci-fi stuff (and a Ryder truck) suddenly appears out front. It all seems completely random, but Grandpa's not fooled: "You know what this is, don't ya? It's a time-space warp." Maybe, or maybe you shouldn't have been chugging that fifth while you were grilling the steaks earlier, gramps. They completely pull the ending out of their ass, but other than that this movie has more than enough crazy shit going on to keep it interesting. And special props to the mom- she's looking mighty fine in those tight jeans. You'd need a sharp knife and at least two sticks of butter to get those suckers off, which sounds like a pretty good time to me.