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Deck the Halls

(2006)

Christmas movies almost always suck ass, but in the first few minutes of this one there's a meth joke and a mutilated cat joke so it seems like it might be okay. Too bad they screw it all up. Ferris Bueller is this uptight guy who gets in a big feud with his obnoxious neighbor over his Christmas lights. You would think that this would lead to some Christmas hilarity (you know, arguments, fistfights, etc.) but unfortunately there's just not that many funny parts. When you can't think of enough jokes destroying shit is always your next best option, but there's nowhere near enough of that either. The obnoxious guy does have some trampy twin daughters, and Ferris Bueller's daughter has some pretty impressive twins of her own, but we never see any of these chicks in all their Christmas glory so even that doesn't help. Seriously, the least they could've done was have it end with both guy's houses being utterly destroyed while their daughters rolled around in the snow having a three-way dyke fest. Don't they owe us that much? I mean come on, it is fucking Christmas.