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Devils Moon

(2004)

Here's a movie so shitty they forgot to put in a bunch of the sounds. You hear people talk okay, but when there's doors closing or people shooting guns or whatever it's just totally quiet. The funniest time this happens is when this brother turns on a boom box at an office party and a bunch of people start dancing around to nothing. How can you not notice something like that? I've seen some pretty bad mistakes in movies but this one takes the fucking cake. The only way it could be more pathetic is if they forgot to make the movie altogether.

Anyway, it's about a bunch of idiots who all happen to end up in these haunted woods at the same time: a whiny dork; his bitchy, ugly boss; a black guy who's always complaining that everything any white person does or says is like an insult because he's black;* a serial killer; two hicks; two smokin' hot goth chicks; and one other, ugly goth chick (nice chin, bitch- stop waving that thing around before you put somebody's eye out). The serial killer tries to off the bitchy boss but gets his head bashed in with a log, which would be okay except that his evil mixes with a spell the goth chicks just happen to be doing at the exact same time and this makes a demon baby pop out of Superchin and start turning everybody into zombies. Yeah, I know: duh. In the end both of the hicks and all the goth chicks get wasted but the dork, the bitch, and the black guy survive. We see some of the ugly chicks' tits, but the two hot goths keep their shirts on, which means there's no reason to even fast-forward through this piece of crap.

*Haven't we heard enough of this crap from that racist loudmouth Chris Rock?