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The Doom Generation

(1995)

It's like a time-honored tradition to blame all your problems on some "generation" that supposedly has it really tough and which you just happen to be a member of: the Greatest Generation, the Lost Generation, the Blank Generation, Generation X, the Pepsi Generation... I can see why you never meet anyone who says they were part of the "Doom Generation" though, because, even for someone who doesn't have a job and lives in their brother's attic, being associated with this movie would be fucking embarrassing. It tries so hard to be badass and edgy that I almost felt sorry for it. Here's an example: every time people buy something, it's $6.66. Wow! Get it? It's just sad. Basically, the story's about these three kids who blow some gook's head off and then decide to go on a murderous fuck-spree. It sounds like it should be an okay movie; too bad everything about it is retarded, annoying, and sucks. The only redeeming quality is the main chick- she is one quality piece of skirt steak:

"Life is lonely, boring, and dumb." No, you're thinking of this movie,
twat. Now shut up and take off your... Uh, never mind.

Thank God the guy who made this flick knew what a talentless asswipe he really was and tried to distract us from the rest of this piece of crap by showing her naked as much as possible. Too bad he also throws in a bunch of naked dudes and a guy eating his own jizz. Seriously, what the fuck is up with that? I can hear the conversation at the big premiere now:

Random Moviegoer: "He's eating his own jizz? That's disgusting!"
Guy Who Made The Doom Generation: "Well, we've all been there, right?"
Random Moviegoer: "I haven't."
GWMTDG: "Ha ha! Yeah, it's one of those things nobody talks about, but everyone does."
Random Moviegoer: "No, nobody does that."
GWMTDG: "So they say."
Random Moviegoer: "What kind of fucking loser would even think of something like that? Jesus that's fucked up. I think I'm gonna puke, seriously."
GWMTDG: "Fuck you. It's symbolic."

Even worse, everybody in this movie is a complete moron. I think the main chick's boyfriend is supposed to be mildly retarded, but what's everyone else's excuse? Here's an example: after this one guy kills a bunch of people, the main chick goes "I don’t know what it is- there's something evil about him." Just spread your legs and look pretty, baby, we'll find a particularly bright chimp that can connect the dots for you. Between all this and the awful jokes, homo bullshit, and name-dropping of bands in a desperate (and unsuccessful) attempt to seem hip, this might be the worst movie with a great pair of tits in it ever made.