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Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned

(1980)

This movie is japanimated, but there aren't any schoolgirls, robots, or tentacle rapes so it's like a bad example of the genre or whatever. These Satanists are going to marry this chick to the Devil, but Dracula swoops down and takes her instead. He decides she's not a bad piece, so he goes ahead and knocks her up. The Devil is pissed, so he sends one of the Satanists to cap Dracula's undead ass with a silver bullet. The Satanist isn't a very good shot though and he shoots Dracula's baby instead.

In japanimated movies there's always a point where they just say "fuck it" and start throwing in whatever random, crazy shit they feel like, and this is that point. God comes along and brings Dracula's baby back to life as a superhero and tells him to kill his dad. The superhero doesn't want to do it, but it's like his fate or whatever, just like it's Dracula's fate to be evil and shit. When the mother hears this, she goes; "...it is my fate to be the personification of hopeless suffering." (I thought that was interesting because up to this point they never even mentioned that she was Jewish.) A hipster, a chick, a guy in a wheelchair, and a dog are also after Dracula, but considering that he already has a superhero, God, and the Devil on his ass, I don't think he even notices these morons.

Anyway, Satan decides to take care of business personally and turns Dracula into a normal person. Dracula goes to Transylvania to get another vampire to bite him and make him a vampire again, but all the vampires signed on with some other clown so now Dracula has to fight him. After he kicks the other vampire's ass, Dracula goes to his old castle and the air there turns him back into a vampire. Okay, I'm willing to buy all the other crap, but that's just fucking stupid. I guess it doesn't really matter though, because right then the wheelchair guy shows up with a bomb and blows Dracula up. (This dude got pushed around in a wheelchair for the entire movie, but at the very end he has like no problem standing up to fight Dracula. I guess he was just lazy, like those fat fucks who always snap up all the handicapped scooters at the grocery store.)

There wasn't really any nudity in this, but there was some blood and at least it made more sense then most japanimation.