Home

The Eerie Midnight Horror Show

(1977)

The wops are really good at these Exorcist ripoffs- in this one, this hot chick gets raped by a statue that comes to life.* She ends up masturbating for a whole night, then tells her dad "I almost died of pleasure!" and asks him to fuck her. The family doctor says she just needs some "fresh air", so they go to the country where she freaks out and pulls the usual Linda Blair shit. Meanwhile her mom is into S&M; when the dad finds out he calls it "masochistic tomfoolery" and tells her "You behave in the vilest, most disgusting way possible." There's a crucifixion, too, and a bunch of chicks get naked, so it's a pretty awesome movie, but what's even more awesome is imagining the one person who thought he was going to see Rocky Horror just sitting there trying to figure out what all the fuss was about and what the hell he was supposed to do with the toilet paper his friends told him to bring. I can just picture him spending the next twenty years totally confused about why people dress up in costumes and sing along to a fucked-up movie like this.

Damn, the more I think about that the funnier it gets.

*"Comes" to life. Get it?