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Embrace of the Vampire

(1994)

Alyssa Milano's been in a couple of popular shows, but lucky for us she bottomed out sometime between the end of one and the beginning of the other and made this flick that was almost entirely about her tits. Basically she's this chick who goes to college and meets a vampire who wants to drink her blood because she's a virgin. He has to get her to blow off her boyfriend first, but since this guy's dating Alyssa Milano and hasn't fucked her yet he's obviously a total tool so the vampire doesn't have too much trouble. Alyssa takes her clothes off a lot in this movie (Christ has she got a pair of hoots... I'd sure like to show her who's the boss), and as if that's not enough, there's also hot, naked vampire chicks, a lesbian scene, and a three-people-on-Alyssa scene. By the end, she's dressing like a little goth slut and spending all her time daydreaming about orgies, which is a lot closer to my daily routine then I should probably be admitting in public. Obviously this is one of the best  movies ever made, and I recommend it to everyone who isn't a fag, an angry feminist chick, or just hasn't been interested in sex ever since they got kicked in the groin by that mule.