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Eyes in the Night

(1942)

This movie is about a blind detective who stops all these spies and saves the day. Okay, I know blind people can do anything regular people can do (well, except read, drive a car, or solve the Rubik's Cube), but when people have their choice of detectives I don't think too many of them are going to pick the one who can't see. This guy does a pretty good job though, plus to like hedge his bets he has a couple of assistants: this super-smart dog, and a dumb guy who can see. It seems like you'd be better off hiring a smart guy, but he probably figured that a guy who was smart and could see might show him up at some point, so that was pretty good thinking on his part. The thing that sucks is that the people who would probably like this movie the most are blind people, but they wouldn't be able to watch it because some important stuff happens when nobody's talking. They should've made like an "alternate version" where everybody explains what's happening more so that blind folks could understand it better. And since blind people can't see what's on the screen anyway, instead of the regular actors they could've shown naked clowns running around hitting each other with dildos or something equally fucked-up. You know, just to mess with them.