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The Falcon and the Co-Eds

(1943)

"The Falcon" is one of those old-time detective cats who loves his booze ("I can think better with a tall glass in my hand," he says) and lands every piece of ass in sight, so obviously he's cool as fuck. In this movie some chick he messed around with and then totally forgot about (sweet) tracks him down because she thinks this teacher at her all-girls school got murdered. She even steals his car so he has to go to the school to get it back. The whole thing sounds pretty sketchy, but everybody loves some co-eds so he decides to hang around and check it out. He mainly spends his time following around this cute teacher and impressing these three little girls who think he's the bomb,* but it starts to look like maybe there really was a murder and later when the head of the school gets stabbed that pretty much clinches it. The Falcon does a bunch of cool stuff, but the best part is when he grabs this co-ed who's mouthing off and spanks her. In the end he solves the case, then takes off with another cute dame while the three little girls stare after him and practically go through puberty while we're watching. Between them and all the co-eds the Falcon's got ass lined up for years after this little escapade. No wonder he didn't care that no one was actually paying him for this gig.

*They're way too young, even for Mr. Satanism, but you can tell they're gonna be hot when they get older so being nice to them now is a pretty smart move on his part.