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Federal Follies Volume 4

(1988)

Jap Zero Killing nips is "swell", but according to this movie some Air Force guys are shooting down our own planes by mistake! If I know my government movies they're probably all on dope. Fortunately their newest pilot is Ronald Reagan- he'll show those Japs the what-for! Actually, he almost shoots down one of our guys too. Idiot.

A Fool and His Money... The Marines in this movie aren't very bright: one buys a car without test driving it, another one charges a TV he can't afford and gets chewed out by his bitchy (but hot) wife, and a couple of others get bamboozled by cute chicks. The really sad part is that these guys aren't buying anything ridiculous- they just want shit like a TV, or a new table, or dance lessons. You know, maybe they wouldn't have all these problems if the fucking U.S. Marines Corps paid them more, the cheap Jew bastards. Instead, they made this cheesy movie telling them to be careful whenever they sign a contract, especially the most dangerous one of all: the marriage contract! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! Seriously though, that's good advice.

Civil Disturbances- Principles of Control Two jeeps full of MPs show up to arrest these guys who think they have free speech, so a riot breaks out and pretty soon the gas grenades are flying! I'll bet George Bush Jr.'s dreams are a lot like this. Too bad all the rioters are just regular people; it would've been a lot funnier if they were hippies.

Time to Go This movie is about how much fun it is to get forced to join the military. In one part they brag that most of the people who work for Selective Service (those are the clowns who pick who actually gets drafted and shit) are like volunteers and "none of them have to do the job if they don't want to". Seriously, fuck you.