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Fiend Without a Face

(1957)

Back in the 1950s everything was totally lame and no one was allowed to do anything cool. It finally got better when Ike Turner came up with rock music,* but you still couldn't make gory movies with naked girls because of the Communists or something. That's why this movie is so cool. It's about all these invisible monsters that this dumbass scientist brings to life. The monsters like nuclear energy so they're always hanging around the Air Force base and killing people. Eventually this pill-popping Air Force guy figures it all out and they make the monsters visible and it turns out they're these awesome crawling brains with a spine and nerves attached! The brains attack everybody so the scientist tries to talk to them and they eat his face. This other guy says; "He was a brave man," because I guess right after someone dies it's rude to say that they were a goddamned moron. The Air Force dude finally decides to dynamite the nuclear control room and when he does all the brains melt.

Some parts of this movie were dumb and having the monsters start out invisible was seriously lame, but they showed the hot heroine in a towel (that's the 1950s way of showing a chick naked), and when the brains attack, they shoot a shitload of them and blood gushes out everywhere. So the people who made this movie did a good job considering it was the Fifties, and I think they have as much to be proud of as the guy who invented Mount Rushmore or discovered Nebraska.

*Some people don't like Ike Turner because he used to hit his wife Tina Turner, but he invented rock & roll so I say he can beat that black bitch 'til the cows come home if he wants.