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Final Destination 3

(2006)

This movie is just like all the other Final Destinations- there's a huge accident but some people survive, so now Death is after them and they all get wasted in these fucked-up, Rube Goldberg ways. One guy figures it out right away after he looks up the plot to the first movie online, but nobody really believes him until these two bimbos get cooked in their tanning beds. (They're naked during this part, but unfortunately for us the brunette isn't all that and the blonde's fakes are pretty bad. Oh well, tits are tits.) There's also a guy who gets an engine block in the back of the skull, a smokin' goth girl nail-gunned through the face, and another clown who gets his head pulped by a weight machine (ha ha- dumb jock). It's all pretty gory and it's not a bad flick, but the DVD has a bonus, and it's like a gimmick more movies should have: there's parts where you can pick what people do and change what happens! Unfortunately, there aren't any choices that make more chicks take their tops off (weak), and you can't save the goth chick's life, which sucks: I hate to see goth pussy that fine squandered before I've had a chance to sample it. You can save some other people (including the main girl's hot-ass little sister), but since that doesn't add any tits to the movie either (and actually takes away some of the gore) overall it's pretty fucking lame. Final score: Movie: B+, Gimmick: D.


 

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