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Flashback: Murderous Vacation

(1999)

For some reason, most horror movies made in the 1990s were worthless, weak-ass pieces of shit, and it got even worse after that miserable load Scream came out. Fuck Scream. Well, lucky for us the krauts never got the memo, so they ended up making this flick and it just auf deutsches all over your ass. It starts with a dude in a dress killing this little girl's parents (before he wastes her, he licks the mom's hand from under the bed for a while- she thinks it's just the dog). The little girl grows up to be pretty cute, but she's been locked in the loony bin for ten years (with a chick who thinks she's Princess Leia!) and is just now getting out. She gets a job tutoring a rich kid and his two knuckle-chewingly hot sisters, but before long the killer turns up again and everybody starts getting wasted. And when I say everybody I mean everybody, old ladies & pets included:  a little dog gets cut in half, a chick gets fed through a snowplow, the cat gets stuffed in a blender, and a whole bunch of people get scythed in the face (if they're lucky). It's totally awesome. The only bad thing is that none of the girls get naked, which especially sucks because just about all of them are fine as fuck. The absolute hottest one actually makes it out of the flick alive though, so hopefully they'll make a Part 2 where she goes crazy next, plus can't find her bra.