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Flash Gordon:
The Greatest Adventure of All

(1979)

This movie's a cartoon but that's okay because it's a hundred times better than that other Flash Gordon with the Queen music where everyone's a fag. It starts out with Flash Gordon going to this other planet to give this guy the business because he's building bombs for the Nazis and shit. All the people on the planet start fucking with him the second he gets there, though, so he has to use good old American know-how to kick everybody's ass. Finally he gets this hawk dude and this Robin Hood dude and some other cats to all work together and they fuck the bad guy up and save the world. Every chick on the planet is insanely hot with like this 36-20-34 figure, tons of people get wasted, and this lion guy keeps calling one chick a wench. It's like the coolest cartoon ever. The only bad part is when Flash blows it at the end by hooking up with this chick from Earth; with lion chicks, bird chicks, lizard chicks, and who knows what the fuck else running around he really should have plowed though some of that crazy alien pussy before settling down. I'd fuck one of those funky lizard bitches, no lie.