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Forbidden County

(2006)

Okay, here's a quiz for you: say you're a spunky chick reporter* looking for your sister in a hick town full of goons, rapist cops, and rejects from Push, Nevada. You do some snooping around, meet the locals, bang a guy, and show off your fantastic rack, but then your car gets fucked up and suddenly you're stranded there. Who do you call?

1) Your boss at the paper
2) The big-city cop who already offered to come pick you up
3) Green Lantern
4) Jesus
5) The crazy old lady on the other side of town who, last you saw, was apparently sacrificing someone to the Devil

If you picked 5 - and are at least a C cup - congratulations: you have everything it takes to be a spunky chick reporter. Frankly I think this chick should try being a little less spunky and a little more not stupid. Somehow she manages to survive until the end though, where the crooked cops, some good cops, the crazy lady, and just about everyone else we've seen so far all show up at her cabin at the same time and start shooting each other and/or themselves until all the bad guys (I think) are dead. What a dumb movie. Nice tits though.

*I guess that's a little redundant, since only chicks can be "spunky". If you're a guy and you're spunky, guess what? You're a fag.