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For Keeps?

(1988)

This kid knocks up Molly Ringwald, which is a great idea for a movie except they don't actually show the best part: naked Molly Ringwald. Their families get super pissed and tell them they're not ready for a baby and to just have an abortion ("You had a gerbil last year, you forgot to feed it, it died!"). The kid and Molly Ringwald decide to keep the baby though and they also decide to ruin the holidays by telling everybody on Christmas, so everyone starts yelling and arguing and finally a fight breaks out and the kid's dad gets pushed into the Christmas tree (this part kinda reminded me of Christmas when I was a kid, except nobody was drunk on rubbing alcohol and waving a claw hammer around). Molly and her boyfriend move out and get married but of course their life goes to shit because that's what always happens when you have a baby (duh). In fact, their life gets so bad that even having Molly Ringwald's ass pretty much on permanent tap doesn't make it any better, and that's pretty bad. Finally Molly Ringwald gets an annulment. That's like a goddamned get-out-of-jail-free card, but I guess this kid's pair hasn't dropped yet or something because he goes to her house crying and begging her not to dump him. When that doesn't work his dad's advice is to stalk her, so he does and finally he wins her back and everyone lives happily ever after. So the moral of this movie is: stalking works.