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Fungicide

(2002)

This guy spends all his time in his parents' basement mixing different shit with Alka-Seltzer, so the parents decide they need to get him the fuck out of there and send him to this shitty "bed & breakfast"* that has a toy sword hanging over the fireplace and activities like "walking down the road". I'm not sure if they sent him to a place this lame because they were tired of his crap, or if they just fucked up since they were reading the newspaper upside down when they found the ad, but it doesn't really matter because the important thing is that he drops some of his Alka-Seltzer on the ground and it makes killer mushrooms. An exterminator disguised as a Hasidic Jew stops by and the mushrooms eat him, then they start attacking everyone else. That's bad enough, but then some guys with sheets over their heads show up and they start shooting everyone with Silly String, and later all these cartoon mushrooms that are so fucking shitty they make old Intellivision games look like Jurassic Park come out of the ground and attack everybody too. After a while everyone has this lame fight that lasts for like a hundred years where they beat mushroom puppets, the cartoons, and the guys in the sheets with sticks and shoot them with guns until they explode and all these cartoon marbles spill out everywhere. In the end they decide to blow up like this keg of vinegar to kill all the puppets, etc., but they need a distraction so one guy just concentrates really hard and makes himself explode. What the fuck? Seriously, that was the last straw as far as I was concerned. The only good things about this movie are when the main chick sings the theme song (which is hilarious), and when she's dressed like a hooker and shows off her legs and a little bit of ass, which ain't half bad. They should have like taken advantage of her assets (get it?) and thrown some mushroom rape in here, so at least one part of this piece of shit would have been worth watching. Pretty fucking sad.

*It's just somebody's house. I'll bet they made this whole movie while somebody's wife went to the fucking store or something.