Video Picks for Perverts
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THE WORLD OF MR. SATANISM VS.
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(1976)
This movie is actually Westworld Part 2 and it starts with them back in business, which frankly I'm just not buying. Seriously, how would they even get insurance? I mean, State Farm flips out if you back into somebody in the Burger King parking lot; do you really think they'd underwrite a company that had robot prostitutes and cowboys going around murdering half their customers? Give me a fucking break. As if that isn't unbelievable enough, there's also all this other ridiculous crap in this movie, like drugs that make old people think they're young, samurai dudes that magically appear out of nowhere, and a machine that videotapes the main chick's hilariously retarded dream where the killer robot cowboy from the first movie is being all romantic with her. So instead of capping everyone in sight, he's slow dancing and throwing a velvet rope around like a goddamned pussy. Who comes up with this shit? Duh. So anyway, this idiot reporter (nice jacket, dork- just because it's the 1970s doesn't mean you have to dress like it's the 1970s) is all suspicious, so after he takes full advantage of the place by playing video chess and Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots (what a complete fucking moron), he gets down to business and starts snooping around. One of the tricks he pulls is asking his chick sidekick to mack on the workers to see if they're robots too, but that doesn't particularly prove anything because a) she's not exactly a head turner, and b) the dude in charge totally admits they're robots anyway. So at the halfway point the score is Robot Amusement Park: 1, Complete Jackass: 0. Something's definitely going down though, because later a bunch of ninja doctors kidnap everybody while they're asleep. Come to think of it, they're probably robots too, which makes them ninja doctor robots. Okay, this is getting retarded. Anyway, the ninjas do all these tests on the people and shit, and finally it turns out that the cats in charge are making these clones of everybody so they can take over the world. I don't see why you'd need to take over the world when you already own a billion dollars worth of robot hookers, but I guess some people are never satisfied. Mostly this movie was pretty boring, but it did have a couple of cool parts, like when a clone suddenly whips out this ridiculously huge knife and stabs the living shit out of a guy, or where... Uh, actually, I guess that's it.
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YOU don't have to PUT UP with the HIP.
