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Ghostly Revenge

(2006)

This movie starts with a male-on-male blowjob. Now, I don't care what the fuck your movie's about - even if it's like a documentary on the history of male-on-male blowjobs - you shouldn't start it out like that. You need to ease people into that kind of shit. Anyway, this is one of those movies where there's shitloads of crap going on- we got the mob trying to kill some fag, a couple dudes who aren't sure if they're gay or not,* another guy pissing & moaning about his girlfriend who got capped by the mob like two seconds after she dumped his ass (if I was him I'd stop crying and just appreciate the irony and shit), and of course a haunted cabin which is why the movie's called "Ghostly Revenge" and not "Mob-Fag Jamboree". Obviously there's like enough crap here for three or four shitty movies, but all anybody does is talk and whine and it's worse than fucking lame. The one good thing is that all the chicks are pretty hot and most of 'em flash some tit at one point, but we never get a really nice look at the goods, which is fucking ridiculous. If you're going to go ahead and show your rack in a crappy movie anyway why the fuck not go all the way and let us, you know, appreciate your talents and shit? I understand that the queers who made this probably weren't interested in boobs, but I sure am and they should have like taken their audience into consideration and shit if they want people to watch this stupid-ass movie, not that anyone would anyway. Fuck you, fags.

*Here's a clue, dipshits: if you keep waking up with cock in your mouth, you're probably gay. Either that or a girl I really need to meet.