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Gorilla at Large

(1954)

You can bet your sweet ass your hash is pretty much cooked when there's a Gorilla at Large, or at least it would be if the gorilla in this movie ever actually did anything. The gorilla belongs to this carnival or whatever, but one night this cat turns up dead in his cage so the cops get called in. The main cop isn't so sure the gorilla killed the guy though ("All I know is somebody, or something, gave it to him the hard way."), so he starts to investigate and shit. Meanwhile, someone lets the gorilla out of his cage, so the gorilla's keeper tracks him down and hides him underwater in this diving bell so he won't get blamed when more people get killed. I gotta admit that's pretty clever, except this dumb cop ends up letting him out by mistake; so now that the movie is like half over, the fucking gorilla finally really is at large.

If you've ever seen a gorilla movie you know that the first thing a gorilla on the town always does is find himself a decent piece of ass, so after he turns on every single ride in the park (to cover his escape, I guess) he goes after this one broad with nice legs who's been throwing her pussy at pretty much everybody who looks at her sideways. But before anything cool can happen (like some hot gorilla-on-floozy action) the cops and the gorilla's keeper catch the gorilla and make him go back to his cage. Then this one other dude confesses to all the killings and they arrest him.

It seems like everything's all wrapped up in a neat little package, but the movie keeps going so that means there's going to be like a big twist. In the end it turns out the killer is really someone else and the Gorilla escapes again, carries Legs to the top of the roller coaster, and finally gets blown away by the cops. You would think a movie about a gorilla at large would have a part where the gorilla kills tons of people or at the very least busts some shit up, but he hardly does anything except walk around- it would have been almost exactly the same movie if it was called, I dunno, "Ostrich at Large" or something. In fact, it probably would have been better because seeing an ostrich climb a roller coaster carrying a chick on its back then getting shot and falling to its death would have been pretty fucking hilarious. If they did that and had Legs show off her rack they might've had a movie here.