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Halloween
The Curse of Michael Myers

(1995)

I'll be honest here- I have a hard time telling these Halloween movies apart because except for the one were that guy stole Stonehenge so he could make a bunch of Halloween masks to kill all the kids in America (and what the fuck was up with that?) they're all pretty much the same. I mean, sure, all the Friday the 13th movies are more or less the same too, but at least most of them have a gimmick so you can tell them apart. Like in one Jason will fight a psychic chick, or in another one he'll take a boat to New York City that ends up in Canada by mistake. The Halloween movies need to do more shit like that so you can tell them the fuck apart.

Anyway, in this one some chick steals a baby from this cult, so they send Michael Myers after her to get it back. She tricks him though and hides the baby in a public restroom at the bus station just before he wastes her. No one at the bus station notices the blood all over the floor or the baby crying in the cupboard in the bathroom, but this one cat who heard the chick call a radio show the night before* figures it all out and goes and gets the kid. Naturally that doctor who's always chasing Michael Myers around shows up too, so now everything's in place & we're pretty much ready to roll.

Michael Myers starts killing everybody, mostly by stabbing them but he does electrocute one dude until he explodes. It seems like business as usual for a while, but then when there's only a few people left to kill suddenly the cult from the beginning shows up, kidnaps the baby and the main chick, and takes them to this insanitarium. The doctor and the cat who found the baby arrive to rescue them, they find a bunch of clones or something... and then Michael Myers shows up and attacks everybody and they never tell us what the fuck hell any of this shit means. I'm not sure if it was all just an overly-complicated way to get everyone in one place for Michael Myers to kill, or if maybe they were trying to concoct like this really intricate backstory but then it turned out that it was almost time for lunch so they just said fuck it and wrapped things up as quickly as possible so that everyone could eat. Oh well, there's a decent amount of blood along the way and one cute chick shows off some nice little nubbins, so I'm just not going to worry about it.

*See, she was being chased by Michael Myers, so instead of calling the cops she called the radio station. This movie is so fucking retarded.