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Halloween Night

(1988)

This old Satanist dude who looks and sounds like a sexually perverted Tim Conway makes his grandson become a Satanist too, so naturally the grandson grows up to be all evil and shit. We know he's evil because he makes his mom cry and listens to the most evil, satanic music of all: hair metal. In fact, there's two different hair metal bands in this movie, and one of them even does a whole stupid video. There's some dumbass who does part of a comedy routine, too. He sucked so bad I actually scoured the credits just so I could get his name: "Bill Tucker". If you're reading this Bill Tucker, I want you to know that you fucking suck- I've seen funnier Auschwitz footage. I also learned from the credits that the Unit Production Manager was named "Dude". Pretty sad. Anyway, the Satanists run around throwing the goat and attacking people, and a lot of chicks end up dying, mostly while they're naked. At least four different chicks get naked in this movie, but three of them were ugly as fuck, and the one who was okay, well, they kept showing us her flabby ass and that kind of ruined the effect for me. In short, Halloween Night is total shit. What really pissed me off though is that a few weeks after I rented this I rented a flick called Hack O'Lantern and it turned out to be the exact same movie sporting a different title! So now they've got two dollars of my money. Fucking cocksuckers.