Home

The Haunting of Sorority Row

(2007)

This starts with a full-bore hottie getting into her SUV. I figured she was the star and I was looking forward to seeing a lot more of her, if you catch my drift, but two seconds in she gets wasted by a ghost! Cool, yet weak. Anyway, it's pledge week at her old sorority, and they need it since apparently there's only three actual sisters. The problem is that the sorority hazed some chick to death a while back, and now her ghost is out for revenge. That's always the plot in these movies- isn't this whole "concern for idiots killed during hazing" fad over yet? How about doing something different, like maybe having the ghost out for revenge because some dumb sorority whore gave him the drip? At any rate, the murders are nothing special: one chick coughs up a big piece of string like some stupid housecat, another one gets boiled in the shower,* and the last one gets locked in a coffin and dies of whatever it is about being locked in a coffin that kills you. All in all it's pretty lame. We never even see any of the cute little pledges in their underwear.

Private Message to Stephanie: Okay, I wrote a whole review about a sorority movie and didn't make one joke about having to buy your friends. Can we start having oral sex again?

*You see this bit in horror flicks all the time- is being boiled alive in the shower like some big chick fear or something? I thought girls were only afraid of spiders, missing sales, and getting knocked up by a poor guy.