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Haunting Sarah

(2005)

A little girl says that this dead kid talks to her all the time. Nobody believes her though, except of course the black housekeeper, because everybody knows how superstitious black people are. So this is a ghost movie, but don't worry about getting too scared because it's mostly about the little girl and her aunt building a dollhouse while the mom sulks because she feels like she's being left out. The excitement never lets up when the supernatural is involved. Eventually though the little girl is flying across the room like Superman to choke people and you'll wish the supernatural wasn't involved because it's fucking ridiculous. They finally figure out that the dead kid wants to be reborn as the mom's new baby, and while his ghost is waiting it's living in the dollhouse (fucking sissy). They decide to burn the dollhouse, but that just pisses the ghost off so he makes the little girl take a swan dive off the roof. She survives (dammit), but it's clear things have gone a little too far so they give the mom some baby-having drugs to make the ghost kid pop out early. I figured once he hit the air somebody would just grab the reincarnated little bastard and toss him out a window or something - which would've been fucking hilarious, and maybe the best ending to a ghost kid movie ever - but of course that's not what happens. Weak. And could we please put like a moratorium on having kids saying nursery rhymes in horror movies?* Here's a newsflash: Nursery rhymes aren't scary. If they were they'd be called "terror rhymes" or something. Morons.

*Putting a moratorium on something means you can't do it any more, and if someone does you're allowed to kill them.