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(1995)

This kid murders his family and commits suicide, so he goes to Hell, which is basically a bunch of skeletons and some cheesy red cartoon effects. Later the main star of this movie gets in a car wreck and he goes to Heaven, which looks just like Hell except blue and minus the skeletons. So Heaven & Hell are pretty much the same except for being different colors? That's not very comforting. Anyway, both these twits come back to life, but now they have an ESP connection. The kid decides to become a serial killer who picks up hot chicks at bars and then ices them. (I really don't understand cats like this- if you're pimp enough to pick up tons of hot pussy, how can you also be pissed off enough to want to kill them?) Naturally the good guy has to stop him, because there's nothing more annoying than suddenly having random visions of  hookers getting decapitated when you're, say, right in the middle of a really good episode of Simon & Simon, like one of the ones where it crossed over with Magnum P.I. Oh, and the killer wants to murder his daughter or something. In the end the killer kidnaps the daughter, so of course the good guy tracks him down and they have a huge brawl which the good guy wins after the killer gets distracted by some more crappy cartoon effects that suddenly start spooging all over the place for absolutely no reason. Obviously this flick is completely retarded, but it was a Dean R Koontz book before it was a movie and since it's scientifically impossible to be worse than a Dean R Koontz book* that means that, technically, this is better.

Wow, that's just fucking sad.

*I read somewhere that Dean R. Koontz books suck so much that not even light can escape.


 

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