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Highlander II
(Renegade Version)

(1991)

Everybody knows Highlander II is famous for being an unbelievable pile of ass-sucking shit; you could write an encyclopedia about all the things in this movie that don't make any sense whatsoever or are just completely retarded. I mean, we've got the Highlanders suddenly turning out to be aliens, dead guys popping back to life for no reason, a subway train that can go 673 miles an hour, the main dude getting attacked by chicken men... It's a fucking joke. Well, this is like the "Renegade Director's Cut" or something, where they supposedly went back and fixed everything that sucked. Don't be fooled though- all they did was make the damn thing 20 minutes longer! Fucking assholes. If you were being raped in prison, would you want it to last 20 minutes longer? To be fair, they did change one thing: instead of the Highlanders being aliens, now they're time travelers. Yeah, that's less moronic. The fact that they put it out twice proves that this isn't just a movie made by people who stink at making movies- this is a movie made by people who actively hate your fucking guts. The only good thing about it is the main chick, who's a pretty choice piece of ass. The Highlander screws her in this version (though not as hard as the movie's screwing us), but we never actually see her naked which means we still get zilch out of the deal. Of course she probably didn't get much out of it either, what with his "problem" and everything. That is what they mean by "the quickening", right?