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Holiday Reunion

(2003)

For some reason "National Lampoon", whoever or whatever that is, can't stop making Vacation movies, even though the ones they come up with these days are so fucking bad that even Clark Griswold won't do them, and he was in Funny Farm. In this one, Rosewood from Beverly Hills Cop visits his long lost cousin for Thanksgiving, but then the worst possible thing happens: it turns out the cousin is a hippie. Of course you know that the hippie and his family are going to do all these crazy things and freak Rosewood's family out, but then in the end they'll learn to love each other and you'll throw up and wish you never put this piece of fucking crap in your Netflix queue in the first place. There were two good things about this stupid movie: Rosewood's daughter was hot enough to make your balls finally drop, and the hippies' crazy-ass daughter was even hotter. Naturally I spent the whole movie hoping that at least one of them would get naked, or maybe out of nowhere some lesbian Flowers in the Attic kissin' cousins stuff might start going on. Of course that didn't happen (weak), but they did get in a catfight in the mud, which was fucking awesome. If they had more of that type of thing this movie might've been okay, but mostly it was jokes like an old guy farting or Rosewood falling down a hill. There are a few things less funny than farting and falling down (crib death, for example), but not very many, so if that's the best you can come up maybe you should find a new line of work, National Lampoon. This lame-ass shit just isn't cutting it.

Hot (left) and Hotter (right). We never see their tits, because the people who made this movie
didn't want to compromise their artistic vision by putting anything entertaining in it.