Home

Horror Express

(1972)

This scientist guy finds some sort of frozen ape man, so he boxes it up and takes it back with him on this train. Too bad for everybody it's really an alien and it comes to life and starts wasting everyone. They finally manage to shoot the ape man but the alien just takes over this other dude's body. This crazy priest thinks the alien is the Devil, and I guess he's a little confused or got all Fs in priest school because he decides to help it. Up to this point the movie was pretty good, but then Kojak shows up in this faggoty fur coat and starts saying all this stupid shit and acting like a total moron. The alien doesn't have time for any of Kojak's crap, so it ices him and brings back all the people it killed as zombies and they take over the train. The good guys don't take that laying down, though; they radio ahead and have them switch the train to a track that leads off a cliff.  I'm not sure why you would build train tracks that lead off a cliff, but they sure come in handy this time and that's the end of that fucking alien. It wasn't a super gory movie but it was cool enough and was worth watching except for Kojak. He's a goddamned idiot.