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How I Got Into College

(1989)

This movie is about a bunch of kids who want to go to college, especially this one dork who keeps blowing the SAT. It's also about these drips who work at the college and how they decide who goes there. So basically it combines all the fun of going to work with all the hilarity of taking a test. And guess how everyone gets into college in the end? By filling out applications! Amazing. Here's a little advice: if you got into college by blackmailing the dean with a video of him fisting his fifteen-year-old niece, or by driving from Central American to Detroit with a van full of cocaine, or by doing a strip tease for the entire faculty, then that's a movie. If you got into college by filling out an application, then that's a letter to grandma. You fucking morons. The only really interesting thing about this is all the famous people who are in it: there's Booger, Queen Kong, that guy from Saturday Night Live whose wife shot him, the super-uptight chick from Saturday Night Live who hated Andrew Dice Clay,* the fat kid from Head of the Class, the chick who screwed her own brother in Amityville 2, plus a few other people. It's like an all-star cast, assuming you like really ridiculous stars and don't care that they're in a totally crappy movie.

*I'd so fuck that broad.