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Identity Theft:
The Michelle Brown Story

(2004)

This slovenly trull needs more money for ugly skirts and potato chips, so she decides to steal another chick's identity. The chick who gets punked knows who did it and a detective is on the case, but he can't track the skank down, even after we hear the victim chick have this phone conversation:

"No, that's what I'm trying to tell you- I did not set up phone service at 1405 Getty Place!"

Okay, I'm no Murder She Wrote, but I'm guessing that a good place to start looking for this bitch might be 1405 Getty Place. Instead, the detective's brilliant plan is to crank call her on her cell phone. Where did this jackass go to cop school anyway? I didn't know the police academy even had a special ed department. Later the skank gets arrested completely by accident (your tax dollars at work), but she still gets away with pretending she's the other girl! I guess she stole her fingerprints along with her identity. This movie is truly fucking moronic, and I haven't even gotten to the creepy, weird-ass meeting between these two dames ("I had to cut my hair. It used to be long, like yours, but it was never as... pretty. Do you wash it every day? Can I touch it?") or the hayseed judge who acts like the victim chick is a huge bitch for pressing charges and tells her that she should have a more "positive attitude". Maybe you should have a more positive attitude and do your goddamned job, you honorable, presiding fuck.

At the beginning it says this is based on a true story. That massively sucks for the chick it actually happened to; I can't imagine living through something so contrived.