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Invisible Child

(1998)

That should be every child. Ha! Anyway, this limey chick (of course she's limey) gets a job as a nanny, but it's a pretty fucked-up situation- there's a little boy, a little girl ("I'm 'Doc', that's short for 'Rebecca'," she says. Uh, no it isn't.), plus one other daughter that's completely imaginary and only the mom can see. Obviously the mom is batshit crazy, but there's just too much opportunity for humor to not take a job like that:

"Why, now that you mention it, [Imaginary Kid] never came home from school today..."
"I had to take [Imaginary Kid] to the hospital but now I forget which one!"
"Help! [Imaginary Kid] fell in the wood chipper!"

Man, you could screw with that nutty bitch's head for weeks. It would be awesome. The nanny takes a different route though- she reports it to Child Services and they come a-callin'. If it was me, I would've pulled some kind of sit-com stunt at this point, like maybe distracting the Child Services people with a bunch of ridiculous antics while my real daughter ran around switching outfits and pretending to be two different kids. That's how Gilligan would've handled it. That's not what they do though; instead, they send the real daughter in to see Child Services and she makes them look like idiots. (Child Services is always pretty easy to trick: my parents just had me wear long-sleeved shirts to cover the cigarette burns and they never once caught on.) Then after that crisis is over, the imaginary kid dies! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! If I was the dad I'd wait a week and suddenly be all "Ahh! Run! She's back from the grave!" Seriously, though, you have to see this movie. It's fucking hilarious.


 

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