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The Ipcress File

(1965)

I guess the main guy in this is some sort of spy, but for maybe the first half hour all he does is make some coffee and get a tour of the new office his boss sends him to. It's like the first day on the job for James Bond, if James Bond was super lame and worked at the DMV or someplace. It was so fucking boring that for a while I thought I'd lapsed into a coma, but then finally the spy tracks down this one dude he wants information from. The dude gives him the runaround, so the spy runs after him but the dude just drives away. I know that doesn't sound very exciting, but it's the most interesting thing that's happened so if you're still watching you'll count your blessings, trust me.

Finally the good guys get their hands on this missing scientist they're looking for, but it turns out he's been all brainwashed and can't remember how to do science any more. I guess this happened to a bunch of other science guys too, and it turns out it's all because of this thing called IPCRESS which stands for Induction of Psychoneuroses by Conditioned Reflex under strESS. Okay, now they can just fuck off right there. You can't just take any random letters out of a name to come up with something like that- you have to use ones at the beginning of words. BYOB = Bring Your Own Booze is fine, but you can't pull crap out of your ass like IPCRESS. And how did the one dude even figure out what that meant? Give me a fucking break. At least some shit finally starts to go down though- a couple of people get capped, the main guy gets framed, and finally the bad guys catch him and try to fry his brain by making him watch the most boring, pointless movie they could find, called The Ipcress File. Ha! I'm kidding. Seriously, that probably would've worked though.