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Island of the Burning Doomed

(1967)

This hot chick goes to this island for a secretary gig. The second she shows up Grand Moff Tarkin makes his move, but he was old even in the 1960s so she pretty much blows him off and heads out for a swim, which is super-important to the plot because we get to see her tight-ass little bod in a bikini. Even better, it turns out she's really there because she used to fuck her new boss and she's still dripping pretty hard for him, even though he wants nothing to do with it because he doesn't want his ugly wife to find out he was getting some on the side. (When the wife finally catches on and asks her husband why he cheated on her, he says "She was a slut and I wanted her!" Ha! Ask a stupid question...) The secretary starts throwing her pussy at the boss every chance she gets, but before she can get any play these flaming aliens show up and start cooking people alive.* That's bad enough, but when they make it so hot that all the bottled beer on the island starts exploding that's the last fucking straw and it's obvious they have to be stopped. Nobody can figure out a way to kill the aliens, but just when it looks like humanity is screwed suddenly it starts to rain and that destroys them. What kind of fucktard aliens invade a planet that's like 70% water when they can be killed by rain? For that matter, why do half the people in this movie keep wearing suits and ties and shit when the aliens make the temperature over 108 degrees? And why does the hot chick almost get raped by some clown for absolutely no reason when they don't even use it as an excuse to show us her tits? I'm sorry, but this is just one of those movies that leaves too many questions unanswered.

*By "flaming" I mean they're on fire, not gay. Well, they might be gay, but it doesn't matter.