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I Was a Teenage Mummy

(1992)

Some not-so-juvenile delinquents beat up this fez-sporting camel jockey, then shove his head in the toilet. It turns out he kinda deserved it though, because he's a total creep; instead of just getting himself a gun like a respectable pussy he grabs this hottie off the street, knocks her out, dry humps her for a while, turns her into a killer mummy, and sends her to waste the bullies. It's gory enough in a cheesy sort of way (face bashed in with a rock, arm ripped off, dipshit decapitated) and most of the chicks are surprisingly doable, but since it's trying to look like a movie from back in the day there aren't actually any tits, which is too bad because the mummy and the tramp she kills at the very end are both particularly fine and, just out of personal curiosity, I really wanted to know what their tits looked like. Pretty fucking awesome, I would imagine.