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Jack Frost 2:
Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

(2000)

An evil snowman going to a tropical island to kill a bunch of partiers is a great idea, so the people who made this movie got together and made a list of all the things they could do to fuck it up. Here's what they came up with:

• The snowman is super annoying- he's one of those killers who makes all these stupid fucking comments and jokes that aren't funny at all and just piss you the fuck off. I wouldn't hang out with someone this irritating, so why the hell would I want to watch him kill people?

• These three chicks he kills on the beach are so goddamned hot that there's not even a word for it, but we don't get to see them naked, or even in bikinis. (Fags.)

• A hot Asian chick skinny-dips, and they bend over fucking backwards to not show us her tits. (Seriously, sucked much cock this week, fags?)

• In the end it turns out that bananas can kill the snowman, because that's the stupidest fucking thing they could think of.

• The gore is lame, when there is any.

Fucking weak. A few years later those talentless hacks Broken Lizard completely ripped this movie off (except without the snowman) and called it Club Dread, but at least they knew that a movie about a bunch of people going to an island to party and fuck should have some nudity in it.

Addendum: I watched the VHS of this, but supposedly the DVD version actually has some rackage on display. I'm not gonna bother sitting through it again though. Fuck them for assuming that people with out-of-date technology don't like to look at tits.