Jane Doe

(1999)

If you're like me and you always wanted to see Ally McBeal dress like a Catholic schoolgirl and pop pills and shit you probably would have gotten tricked into renting this movie too, so shut the fuck up. It's actually cool when she dances around in a French maid outfit and when she gets her ass beat by drug dealers, but why the fuck don't we ever get to see her tits? Basically the movie is about how she's completely out of control and ends up dead so her boyfriend learns a valuable lesson from it all because it shows she had this lust for life or whatever. Take my word for it- that's a lot more interesting if you do it for real, so I suggest you head down to the local crack house and pick up the first little hottie you meet with track marks if you want that kind of entertainment. Leave this crappy movie at the store for some pussy to rent so he can be all sensitive and romantic and impress his boring stupid girlfriend.

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