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Journey Back to Oz

(1974)

Dorothy and Toto* are chilling on the farm when another tornado comes along and, sure enough, they end up back in Oz (that's some damn inventive writing there, let me tell you). They end up friends with Pumpkinhead (I guess this is before he went bad in all those horror movies) and a wooden horse and have to stop another evil witch who takes over the Emerald City with a bunch a green elephants. At first Dorothy, Pumpkinhead, and the horse go to Dorothy's old friends the Tin Woodsman and the Lion for help, but they both punk out (and after all she did for them, too, the fucking ingrates) so they end up having to ask Glinda the Good Witch. The Good Witch gives them some magic to stop the elephants which, of course, turns out to be a box of mice (there's some more of that awesome writing- duh). On their way back the good guys get attacked by these evil trees, but they use a magic axe to turn the trees into homosexuals and manage to escape. I know you think I'm making that up, but I'm fucking serious. Anyway, they finally get back to the Emerald City, stampede the elephants with the mice, the bad witch gets trampled to death (the only cool part of this whole lame movie), and the day is saved, except the movie goes on for like fifteen more minutes so they can work in some more shitty songs, as if the 20 songs they already sung that all sucked ass weren't enough. Fucking weak.

*Toto's white now. I'm assuming he's a brand new Toto and Uncle Henry accidentally backed over the old one in the driveway or something.