Lake Placid

(1999)

There's a couple of giant crocodiles in this lake (it's actually supposed to be this big surprise that there's more than one, but they just pull the second one out of their asses at the last second, so fuck them- I'm ruining that part of the movie right now). Various idiots show up to take care of the crocodile(s), but mostly all they do is argue and bitch and it's really fucking annoying. It is pretty gory when the croc(s) actually get somebody, but that only happens a couple of times and none of the main people die which sucks because they're a bunch of fuckheads and I hated every single one of them. The worst thing about this movie though (besides the fact that it exists) is that one of the Golden Girls is in it, and apparently it's supposed to be endlessly hilarious that she's always cussing and shit. But cussing isn't funny and it's just motherfucking goddamned bastard stupid. Piss. The second worst thing about this movie? The female cop never shows us her tits. Seriously, she's one fine-looking piece of law-enforcing ass.

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