Home

Land of the Dead

(2005)

So there's zombies everywhere, and they've taken over the whole world except for one city that's protected by these rivers. Everyone in the city is constantly arguing and pissing & moaning though (like a bunch of killer zombies isn't enough drama for these idiots), until finally this one guy gets particularly irritated, steals a supertruck, and says he's gonna shoot missiles at the city unless they give him five million dollars. Okay, what the fuck? The whole world is ended! Besides burning it to keep warm, what could you possibly do with five million dollars? Hell, he should've asked for five billion dollars. What the fuck, right? What a goddamned moron. Anyway, the boss of the city sends Asia Argento (one of the hottest chicks since the dawn of time, in case you didn't know, fag) and some other clowns to get the truck back, but unfortunately for the living people it finally dawns on the dead (heh) that they can just walk under the rivers, so they invade the town and eat everybody. There's a ton of gore, a midget in a purple suit and a cowboy hat gets shot in the head, and all the chicks are hot as fuck, but we never see Asia naked, which is weird because if you look her up on the internet it seems like she's naked pretty much all the time. That really hurts this movie's rewatchability, assuming that's even a word.

Asia Argento. If you don't have a hard-on right now, you must be dead. And that includes chicks.