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The Last Shark

(1981)

This movie rules; it's a lot better than most of the Jawses. It starts when this shark eats a sailboarder and some other dude in a boat. There's supposed to be this big sailboard race or whatever, so they put up these fences and nets to keep the shark out. This shark is pretty hungry though so he tears through the nets, attacks the race and eats some more people. This shark hunter decides he better take care of business and goes after the shark, and he takes this writer along I guess to write about all his exploits when it's over because I don't see what other use he would be. They try to blow up the shark but they screw it all up and the bastard escapes. When these kids go after the shark it eats this cute chick's leg, and later when a political guy tries to catch it by hanging meat out of a helicopter it tears him into two bite-size pieces and pulls the whole chopper underwater! It also rips off the end of a dock and drags the whole thing out into the water so it can eat the people trapped on it at its leisure. It's fucking great. The people who made the Jaws movies were so mad that this one was cooler than theirs that they sued everybody and no one was allowed to ever see this movie again, but now you can buy it on eBay for like ten bucks, so fuck you, Jaws.