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The Legend of Lucy Keyes

(2006)

This is supposed to be a goddamned ghost movie, but all they do is for like the first hour is talk about windmills and clam bellies (whatever the fuck those are). Where the hell is the ghost already? When the fucking movie is almost over the ghost finally attacks and tries to steal this little girl, but nobody seems to think that this is that big a deal and they never mention it again. Later this old letter turns up that proves that this land deal everyone keeps yammering on about is all shady and shit, so instead of running it through the paper shredder or something the dumb bitch in charge just leaves it laying around until somebody steals it and then she tries to kill everybody who read it. Women are just idiots. This flick did have a few people getting killed, but they don't show shit and there aren't any tits. Since I've never seen so many fuck-ugly broads in one movie though, that's probably a good thing.


 

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