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Life of the Party

(2005)

So it turns out douchebags have a king, and his name is the main guy in this movie. Seriously, this cat drives around singing show tunes, can't stop reliving his "glory days" in track (duh) and is such a smarmy ass-sucker it's like a miracle that he doesn't get his fucking teeth kicked in every time he walks into a room. The story's mainly about his friends trying to get him off the sauce which is totally ridiculous because a) being a drunk is by far the least of his personality defects and b) there's no way this asswipe has friends. A way better movie would be one where everybody he knows ties him to a chair and just beats the absolute Christ out of him until he's so jacked up he has to spend the rest of his life pissing in a bag. And shitting in it. The worst though is when he gets all trashed and puts a gun to his head; I was actually standing on my couch cheering, but then it turns out he's just fucking around and the gun isn't even loaded! It's complete fucking bullshit. Screw this dick-tease of a movie.

I did like the part where his own dad calls him a "boozed-up peckerhead" though. That was hilarious.