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The Little Brown Burro and
The Christmas Raccoons

(1978/1980)

This Christmas tape had two cartoons on it- I never heard of the first one, but they used to show the Raccoon one on Canadian TV, which should tell you something right there. The Little Brown Burro is about this donkey who keeps complaining because he's too small to work. What a moron. Anyway, this rat becomes his friend and they wander around and sing some shitty songs and finally he gets to be the donkey that carries Jesus's mom around right before she pops out the kid, like that's something to get excited about or something. Yeah, I was the guy who sold Lee Harvey Oswald the bullets, too. Big deal. In the second cartoon, these raccoons end up homeless because this evil pink aardvark who runs a lumber company cuts down their house and then these kids steal it and use it for their Christmas tree. It's just like that one old cartoon where those two gay squirrels lose their tree, except that that one was actually sort of funny. Obviously some clown had two totally lame Christmas cartoons, so they figured they'd clean up or whatever if they put them on one tape. They really didn't think it through though because one of them is like religious and the other one is this tree-hugging hippie crap, so most people will hate one or the other. Actually, most people will probably hate both of them because they suck.